WHAT IS “RESPECTING GIRLS AND WOMEN” IN THE TRUE SENSE? (TALKS)

 “Ladies first!”

“Give her the first turn as she is a girl.”

“Give her one more chance after all, she is a girl.”

“Give her the seat because she is a girl.”

How far do you agree with these commonly used statements?

If you do not agree with them (just like me) , you would probably enjoy this blog post even more.

Is this just what we mean by “respecting girls”? I am really sorry, but I cannot agree with this.

I think it counts as an etiquette to ask a girl if she wants to sit on your seat because maybe it’s her that day of the month, but if the girl says she is comfortable in standing then you must not force her ,as, what if she is a girl, she knows how to stand; in bus as well as for herself.

Before I start with my topic, I have something to tell! I am starting this new series “TALKS” in which I would speak my mind and share with you people my thoughts on particular things. In fact, this post is the first one on the “TALKS” series. Hope you guys enjoy.

We are all humans. No one is less, and neither one is more. I think our society has always taught us to respect a girl in wrong ways. And sorry, but it is still doing that. I would elaborate on this later in this post.

To me, the real respect and freedom is- educating your daughter, encouraging her for higher studies, giving her the freedom to choose her own path and career, giving her a “voice”, letting her have her independent views, etc. But unfortunately, very few parents and some people understand this and abide.

 Either we just don’t understand the meaning of freedom or when we do, we misinterpret it.

I have always loved to stand for girls and their rights. I believe we have a voice too which needs to be heard, our views do matter, our presence has to be felt.

Superiority or Equality?

I do not ask for superiority, but clear equality. But I have seen a bunch of girls who are fighting for the former. I ask “what is the difference left between men and women then?” They denominated us, and now we want to do the same! If such so called “feminist girls”, call me anti-feminist, I would accept it. Because I want to be treated equally and not be privileged and I would always fight for women’s rudimentary and true rights.

Now I must mention how do we misinterpret freedom and respect. What if you are letting your daughter wear shorter clothes and party late night, but if you do not consider her opinions on important life or family decisions. To me, sorry to say, but you are still old fashioned. Instead, if you are educating her and has given your daughter a vision of her own, you already are proving yourself as perfect modernized parents. I do not get it, why some girls find all the freedom in “partying late night”. There are other important issues too which need to be raised and are the need of the hour. Today, I say, first let’s focus on the bigger and more important issues. I think when we would be able to create an educated and independent society, the other types of freedom would also come then. As well as we would have a better surrounding for humans to live in.

Imagine:- You educated your daughter. She grows, is independent, has her own voice and thoughts. Your daughter, because of her being a broad minded person, educates her daughter as well as son too. Your daughter’s daughter becomes a successful woman. She also educates her daughter and persuades her to weave her own path. In this way, by the time, let’s assume, the girls know how to stand for themselves and boys have reached that understanding and respect women in true sense. So basically the world becomes a better place to live in, and girls are able to walk in dark as well without any fear and boundaries and also wear whatever they wish to. (this can definitely  happen earlier too, if our thoughts progress at that fast rate, which I hope, will)

But remember this won’t be possible to achieve, if we start from the end point. It’s necessary to first build that atmosphere which is safe for us. And this can only be done by educating our girl child and teaching her how to have a voice and raise it when needed. Also, it’s crucial that our little boys are taught how to respect a girl and her voice and how to treat her equally. To all those parents, I request, please don’t teach your little boy to cut those beautiful wings of a girl, instead, teach them to encourage a girl to fly even higher and be her strength.

I must say our society has always used certain absurd statements for girls which need to be broken and opposed. “What man? You got beaten by a GIRL. What a loser you are!” Such horrible lines stay with us in our sub conscious mind for long, and the worse happens, when we unknowingly use them in front of our children. All I want is, that we, the next generation needs to be aware of the fact that what we would showcase, is what our next generation would.  I have seen some aunts saying this to their son when they got beaten or maybe lost a game to a girl. “Ladki se pitt ker aagya? Kya yr!” This statement gives a view that girls are weak and less, and boys cannot afford to lose to them. WHAT NONSENSE!  I feel so sorry for those aunts who themselves being a woman cannot respect a woman. But that’s not what we would do. Right? We would not showcase what our society did. We would change the world. We would never tell our boys that girls are less or weak. Rather, we would tell our boys “Your mom was once a girl too, and she is and has always been strong. Always respect woman, dear.”

“I would wear bangles if I lost”, “It’s men’s work, you cannot do this, go help your mom” “Let your brother do it. Stay aside” “Don’t talk when men are speaking” “Don’t oppose your husband. Do what he says” “Let boys have the fun”.

I firmly oppose all this nonsense. There are a lot more weird things society says, let them bark. Never pay attention on what these people say. Think about your happiness.  Have a goal, and you go girl!

I really believe, it all starts from our mind. A wrong thought does not take much time to flow in our hands and make us commit a crime. Children, both girls and boys, should be taught the value of the 3 I’s-  Individuality, Independence and Integrity.  I find myself feeling proud and lucky enough at the moment that my parents provided me with all.

I must also mention, as more and more people have started educating their girl child and also has started teaching their boys how to respect woman in true sense, our society is growing and changing. I have seen many modernized parents who do not differentiate between their sons and daughters at all. Many parents have started giving equal opportunities, equal rights, equal status to their boys and girls. That’s what I say, right education and good upbringing is the only path to begin with.

With this, I conclude.

“We do not want the first turn to bat just because we are girls, let us have a fair play. Then let’s see who wins.”

I must say, all that I wrote are my personal views on things.

Hope you liked it. See you next week.