You see, we often have succeeded to realise what effect our words can have on others. We usually say our words can act like swords. But have we tried exploring if we ever have slaughtered ourselves with our own words and what effect our words can have on ourselves. In this blog, I would help you know where we all go wrong and how can we so easily be the masters of our own lives. Read the whole blog to get the best out of it.
Heyy!! How are you doing dearies? Another weekend, and another blog. I am always happy to write. Let’s begin.
Can you guess how many thoughts pass through our heads in a single day? (Need not make a guess, even I didn’t, just googled; that’s just a way of writing)
My friend Google says, according to the latest study, six thousand and two hundred thoughts pass through our minds in a single day. Now I say: so many thoughts but why do I feel like I have been thinking of the same thing from the morning? Because that’s what I gave power to. Some of these thoughts and ideas stay with us for a minute, some for a day and some for a year. Ok let’s not jump to it, let’s get there slowly.
Take the example of sperms. So many sperms compete with one another just to get into the ovary and carry out the process of reproduction and produce an embryo. In the same way, our thousands of thoughts compete to get into our minds and carry out the process of thinking and produce an action. But there is a difference between them. The former is not in our control, it’s an involuntary activity. But the good news is, the latter is always in our hands, I.e., we can control what we let in, what we think upon and then what we produce as an action.
Understand it in a more realistic way. Let’s say a random thought strikes our mind that “my colleague is better than me”. Now let’s say we choose this sperm (thought) to stay with us for a longer time, say for two days. So basically we have been THINKING about this for the last two days- “How can I get the trophy for the best employee of the month when a colleague like Akash exists. He has better communication skills than me, he owns several reputed degrees, he is much confident and moreover he is a man and has worked overtime. I won’t be able to get the trophy. Maybe I don’t deserve it.” (Note- Lady!! Focus on what you have, not what he does. And what quality of yours can contribute in the decision of choosing you as the best employee…..anyways)
Now, the twist is here. However you have been overthinking from past two days, let’s assume you decide to get into a self talk session in the evening in your veranda. And what you did in the self talk was even more devastating, you SAID all those things which were just in your mind-to yourself and repeated them again and again and maybe exaggerated them even more. Now they became even more powerful, and guess what? YOU gave them the power. How did they become powerful?
Let me share something. I came to realise about this power of words when months ago I was in a conversation with one of my dear. I was sad and wanted to talk to someone and just feel better. She was comforting and gave me some good rest from my worries. But the problem was- My choice of action. I chose to speak that thought out, I chose this useless sperm (thought), I chose to exaggerate it, I chose to give it the power it didn’t deserve.
I don’t say that we shall not discuss our problems with our dear ones. It will never be what I mean to say. But all I say is, first think about it, is it a big deal? Is it worth talking about? Is it worth discussing? Is it that powerful?
And believe me, if you think it’s serious enough to talk about and you need help, never hesitate. Seek help from a dear one.
But all I want to stress upon is, the more you talk about it, the more powerful you let it be (no matter you talk to yourself or to someone else). The thing I was upset on that day, was not a big deal, until I shared it with someone. Because I said it to someone else, so basically someone else also knows what the matter is , now even if I realise after some time of overthinking that it was not a big deal, the other person still thinks it is a big deal and now naturally I’ll think that I cannot afford to be called a ‘crackhead’ and so even after realising that it wasn’t that big, Me, My mind, My actions start making it big. That’s the power of exaggeration. (Believe me or not, admit or not, this happens with each one of us)
It seems but is not at all that complicated.
Note:- Self talk can be harmful too, if done in the wrong way. Always try saying and repeating good things in your self talk. Don’t go unrealistic but just keep it positive.
So basically we give power to our thoughts by turning them into words which leads to powerful actions. Here is the flowchart for better understanding and for easier reference:-
Random Thought!
-given power-
Major Thought!
-given power-
Words!
-given power-
Actions!
TECHNIQUE – Now what if we use this series in a better way? Yes it is possible, I share this technique with a personal experience, so I assure it’s effective enough. Shall we?
Do you know what words are? When we give shape to our thoughts, they are known as words. Isn’t it? Now let’s say we have a nice random positive thought about “finding my passion”. Now the more you talk about it to yourself or even to others, you would slowly observe that you are on the right path and you will find your passion. How does that makes sense Anushka?
It makes enough sense. You talk to yourself, ask yourself what have you been great at? What were you always attracted towards as a child? What has always been of your interest? What have you been always curious about? What can be the calling for you? Now here I am talking about that productive self-talk. You can also consider talking to your family or friends or teachers or anyone you trust enough, and talk about your passion and discover with them what you are born for. Many a times answers to our questions can be found in our conversations. Answer these questions and soon, day after day, by practising this, you would be able to answer your own questions. That’s how it makes sense.
Ok so now we turned our thoughts into words. Now how to turn them into actions? There must be a reason why they say: find out what you truly love to do and then direct all of your energy towards doing it. (Note- “discovering your passion” is just taken as an example. You can think about other good things you wish you had in your life- both material and spiritual, now direct all your efforts and energy towards it)
To have a control on your own life, it’s important to have a control on your actions. As I said, direct all your efforts and actions towards your goals, both material and spiritual ones. Read books and articles related to your interest or even watch movies which will directly or indirectly help you to gain knowledge about your passion and keep yourself updated about new researches or innovations related to your passion and the field you want to make your career in. Basically just devote yourself with full energy and enthusiasm towards your passion and ultimate goal. So that’s how you can use this series in a more effective way.
In a nutshell, the technique: Rather than giving power to negative useless thoughts, start giving power to positive and healthier ones. Rather than saying pessimistic things, start saying optimistic things, to yourselves or to others. Ultimately, rather than destructive actions you would be able to produce productive actions and be the masters of your own lives.
I see it this way-
“What you say is what you do and is what happens to you.”
(Stick to this and you’ll never lose control on your own self)
So that was it. Hope I was able to be of some help and hope you liked the content.
See you next week!
Stay bright and blessed!
