HOW TO RESPOND, AND NOT REACT.

 I remember we were talking about some matter and then my friend said that one line “Learn to respond, and not react.” Since then, this line never quit my mind and I think it never will. It is one of the best lessons my life has taught me till now. Which, I would always be grateful to get from one of my dear friend. So Thank You for this deary. 

So what do you think this post is about?

Not always do we agree with someone’s opinions. Right? There are times when we wish to oppose them, disagree and rebel. As a normal person, we always do this, and as a result either we get into a debate or fight, or we make the ambience awkward and undesirable.  But what if we behave as a clever person this time? Everyone has got something to say, but how they say it, or say nothing at all, makes the difference. .  We need to oppose our natural opposition reaction (anger, hatred, disagreement, arrogance, ignorance, etc.)  to a situation, and that is why many people find it difficult to do. If we walk out of the crowd and are clever enough to be conscious and aware of our own self and not do what naturally comes to us, that’s self control. And that is what this concept teaches us.

I would not explain this concept, but in this post I would do something different. I would clarify the myths or misinterpretations you can have about “responding, and not reacting”. In this way I would be able to make you guys understand the right way of looking at this concept. And also, it would clear all your doubts and myth which would bump in your mind. So this is the first misinterpretation :-

Do you want us to suppress our valuable opinions?

 No, I say, not at all. Responding and not reacting, does not ask us to suppress your voice and opinions. It simply asks us to not say rubbish when we want to, at the wrong place. There are certain situations in which we can and we should oppose, but some situations ask for some clever response. Then what are these situations and how do we differentiate between them? The answer to this is- whenever you feel like it is an important issue, I think you must raise your voice and oppose the wrong, this can happen in crowded places or even when one of your sagacious friend or person is around who would actually pay attention to what you are saying and would understand. But in some situations, it is much better to simply respond.

I really think that in our everyday life we meet so many people; so many people with opposite opinions and views. What do we do when they say something we do not agree with, or something we have a different take on? Yeah, normally we oppose, get into a debate and soon into a fight. And some people who like to over think, often keep on thinking about the same thing for 2 days and keep on thinking what better facts could they have added up there to win the debate, and regret for not adding them. Why so much of drama? When simply you could have just respond. Many of these people are not going to meet you ever again, and many are just a part of just a phase of your life. Then why to waste your time, energy , sometimes- money, on them?

 I do not ask you to not say anything against the wrong practices. When you see child labour, or harassment, or racism, you have to raise your voice. Although you have got nothing to do with these people, by taking a correct step you can make a child’s future, give strength to a woman and support a black by adding your voice against the injustice he has been facing. One step also can make a world of difference.  

But when things are not that serious and are silly, one needs to just respond and move on. In this fast paced life, we cannot waste our precious time on stupid people and silly things and topics. After all, 90% of people would not change their 25 years old thinking which they grew up with, after listening to your 5 minutes speech.  This can happen in extremely exceptional cases (10%) , either when a person is too easy to convince or they are too great to get enlightened.

So we need to ignore what these people are saying and neglect them?

No, certainly not. To me- Ignorance is equal to a reaction. If your expressions show the other person that you are least interested and are not even listening to them and does not give a shit on their opinions, the situations would be even worse. You need to be super clever. If you would give an impression of ignorance, people feel disrespected and then their ego talks for them, which we don’t want. We want that we keep our mind cool as well as we maintain the same relation with the person and does not offend them at all. What have we got to do?

How to respond?

Pretend and use your drama class skills. Use them very wisely, don’t overact because people are not dumb, they will catch you very soon. Show that you are listening, but don’t listen. You have to also use words, as just nodding won’t suffice. Sometimes nodding in the wrong way also gives an impression of disrespect. Even if sometimes you just can’t agree, simply listen, smile and move. Just nod as if you definetly agree with them and pass a beautiful smile. Believe me, you are having the last laugh.  

What would be the benefits of doing this?

You would maintain a healthy relation with the person and would not make the environment negative. You would keep yourself sorted and not waste time on silly things. You would not keep yourself busy by thinking what I could have said. Because a response is a simple and sorted thing which doesn’t need much of strategies. Respond with respect.

I must also mention, one of my grandpa shared with me once “You see that I don’t make my beliefs and opinions so firm that one day when they are opposed, they hold the power to hurt me. Be quite neutral about silly things.” This might be the wisest statement I have heard from him, although there are many more of them. 

Robert Downey Jr. once quoted “Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever the suck you were gonna do anyway.” 

I must say this is the best way I found to remain sorted, mentally as well as with outer relations with humans. If you agree with this concept which tries to keep you sorted, then please try practicing this once and tell me how it was! I would be more than happy if my readers write to me through mail or in the comments box below. My email Id is- anushkabadkul7@gmail.com

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So that was it. Hope I was able to be of some help and hope you liked the content.

See you very soon. Take care.