MY THEORY OF HEART COMPARTMENTS!

 INTRODUCTION –

I am lost.

I don’t want to live anymore.

My world has come to an end. Everything is over.

Yess, that’s what we say or think when we just came to blows (had a fight) with someone who is close and dear to us.

I call all of this “over exaggeration of situations”. Later in this blog I would clearly explain what I mean by this and by the end of this blog, you would hopefully be able to control and cope with your emotional attitude towards such mentally breaking situations.

Can our whole life be dependent on just one person?

Well if you ask me, I would say a big “NO”. And I can show this if you want.

I observed, when we are sad , we try to overemphasize our situation and take it to be the toughest situation, when actually it is not. For instance, when a child loses his favourite toy he says “This is so disgusting, I want that back, it was my favourite, I cannot live without it.” When actually we all know when his next birthday would appear and he would be gifted by another toy , that would become his favourite toy then. But I must also mention, the loss has to be recognised, after all everything has it’s own special place. This continues to happen with us even when we grow up. We often overstate the importance of a person or a situation; and the irony is, this happens with all of us; sometimes with me, sometimes with you.

Now let me tell you how our society and external sources forces us even more to over exaggerate the importance of a person in our life.  Since childhood, we have heard the tales of love and it’s power, the tales of true friendship, the sayings like “Our parents are just like our god to us”. These things, believe it or not, have been there in our sub conscious mind ever since we grew up. We have always exaggerated the importance of people in our life. I do not say it’s all fake or nonsense, I just say it’s way too much than needed. The daily soaps, television sitcoms and the cinema industry have always talked about the greatness of love, often forcing people to believe in it blindly. In India, old people used to express (or I should say “exaggerate”) their love towards someone by saying “Main tumhare liye chaand taare todh ker la sakta hoon”, which means, “I can bring the moon and the stars just for you babe”. But when we think practically, it’s not possible and is ridiculous. Our society has encouraged us to be at the extreme ends, love wholeheartedly or hate wholeheartedly, but it never taught us how to maintain that middle place of happiness.  

  It is also not possible that our whole life of 29,200 days (assuming the person lived 80 years) depends on a single person or even just a small group of persons. It is crucial to understand that other important people still do exist who love you as much as they did before.

I do agree sometimes we are broken, deceived, betrayed, hurt, disappointed ; but remember how Robert Frost summed up everything he learnt from his life in three words : “LIFE GOES ON”.

Theory Of Heart Compartments –

My Theory of Heart Compartments states “Our heart is not one, it is divided as compartments which are owned by different people or groups of people.” I must say, the more simple it sounds, the more complicated it is.

Sometimes we fight with are parents, sometimes with grandparents, sometimes with best friends, sometimes with siblings, sometimes with close colleagues, sometimes with boyfriend/girlfriend, sometimes with life partner.

 Is this the time which breaks you? NO. This is the time which makes you.

People are a part of our life, not our life.

Now let’s understand how this theory works-

We all have a bunch of important people in our life.  Isn’t it? I say all those people who count in our life, own a separate unique place in our heart, which I call a “heart compartment”. It is important to recognize who these people are. In times we feel sad or hurt, these are the people who can give us some real hope. Sometimes some close person would hurt you and this is the time you seek for help to the other close person, and this series goes on. In this way, we always have someone who has our back.  We always have such people around, where we go wrong is- when we are unable to recognize their valuable presence. Take for instance:-  you fought with your parents over something? Don’t feel upset, call your best friend, ask her to make you feel better. Or I can assure you with this, even if you don’t ask her for it, then too you would get it all. Or let’s say you fought with your friend? Before you speak anything, your parents would know it all , and this makes me believe that something like sixth sense do exist. Have a nice movie night with them or simply talk about life or something. Lay down your head on your mom’s lap. I think you can already imagine the peace. It might sound a little silly, but actually if we just keep our ego aside and forget for a moment that we are grown up (for an adult) , we can make ourselves feel so much better.

WHO SHALL OWN OUR HEART COMPARTMENTS ? –

Well if you ask me, I assign 8 as the maximum limit of people who can really own one of your heart compartments (taken for usual people). A highly extrovert person might say “What?” Well okay I understand, for highly extrovert people, the upper ceiling can move to 11 or 12. Look at this-

Types of people	Maximum limit
Highly introvert	4-5
Introvert	6
Ambivert	8
Extrovert	10
Highly extrovert	11-12

The people who really own your heart compartments are the people who count. People , you know, will always be there no matter what happens. These are the people whose presence is felt by you. Imagine for a second, if they weren’t there in your life. Do you feel incomplete? If yes, add them immediately. I must also mention, heart compartments does not have to remain consistent, some may disappear, some may add, some may make it to the end. Remember do not lie to yourself. The ONLY person you can be completely honest with , is You. Be true to yourself and make a virtual count of those golden people.

CAN THIS LESSEN OUR PAIN? –

No, certainly not.  Nothing, I say, can lessen the pain of separation, disappointment, expectations, betrayal, etc. But YES, believing that your life still goes on and other people whom you love are still there for you, can make you feel tons better. I must say it’s not easy. I must say people own special compartments in your heart and that is why a loss cannot be compensated. The “parent’s compartment” cannot be compensated by friends and vice- versa. But these remaining compartments can certainly help you to resolve your concerns; maybe to fill the void space and gradually the broken compartment can be vanished into thin air or maybe replaced by another.

CAN THIS BE PRACTICED BY PEOPLE IN LOVE? –

Well that is a difficult question. Isn’t it? Asking a lover to not say “She/He is my whole life” is tough, really tough. (Haha, right) I strongly believe that “Love is a thing which blinds us beyond redemption.” We cannot let feelings blind us to the facts. I think it would be a little difficult for people in WRONG LOVE to accept this theory of heart compartment which opposes their favourite line ‘You are my whole life.’ Oh okayy! What is RIGHT LOVE then? To me, love in it’s true sense is something which never bounds you to a limit but encourages you to fly even higher. It’s important that both the partners understand each other’s individuality and also accept that the other partner’s life comprises of other important people too. “A relationship which asks for sacrifices of other relationships is a fake one, I say.” It’s important to understand that there are other people too who own your partner’s heart compartments. Remember you, and make your partner too remember that.

“Love people wholeheartedly, but don’t give one your whole heart.”

I must also mention, if you did not relate to this and did not agree, probably you are more of an emotional person which is completely okay, so sorry if I could not be of any help to you people. But if you did agree,we are alike, tough.

So that was it. Hope I was able to be of some help and hope you liked the content.

Stay tuned. Catch you later.