Hello my dear readers. A hearty welcome to “Bloggy A” again.
So it has been a long time since my first blog- “How to make positive criticism without hurting people” got aired, and I remember what a generous response it had. So here I am, back with my social tricks. This blog will enable you to possess a personality, to have an influence on others and to help you make your presence felt in social life.
I must mention, all the tricks and tips I would talk about are completely based on my personal observations and little experiences that I have had till now. I really gave a thought on them and tried them myself, and they worked immensely. And so here I am to share with you guys some of my tricks on “How to have an impact” in social gatherings, friend circles, even work places and with strangers. I would be more than happy to help you in any way possible.
So without any further delay, let’s get started.
1.The Returns to Admirations :-
Now, in this trick we are turning clever. We will take an advantage of the human nature of “Liking for Liking”. Have you ever experienced what an instant liking we feel about that person, who we just got to know likes us. Let’s assume you are “Alis”, you have a friend “Robert” and you both also have a common friend “Megha”. Now you (Alis) was talking to Megha when Megha tells you that Robert really admires your personality and sense of humour. Now what you feel? Lovely? Overwhelmed? Excited? Or filled with confidence? Exactly. So then what do you feel about Robert? Your well wisher? Your true friend? Your best person? Or your disciple? Exactly. Did you notice how cleverly but without hurting anyone or without using any wrong means, Robert becomes the apple of our eyes? We don’t want to lose a person like Robert who admires us. We have a liking towards him and then, also a want of more admirations from him. In both ways Robert wins and has made an impact on us. Because we like Robert liking us we would like to maintain our personality and sense of humour; by this we prove Robert already has an influence on us and our lives. Makes enough sense right? Now here’s a good news. By practicing this simple trick of “admiring more people to get more admirations” Robert is not only able to have an impact on a single person Alis, but on many. Let me tell you how. Whenever Alis is asked about Robert, he would always appreciate him and will never talk ill about him as he knows Robert appreciates me and will naturally give it back to him (will return), sometimes unknowingly. By this many people will have positive attitude towards Robert and so Robert becomes successful in building “a whole community of people he has an impact on”.
But hey, be very careful. Although it’s a clever trick, but it is definitely not a fake and cheat trick. By this I mean, be sincere with those appreciations, or either it can go so wrong. If Robert said to Megha “I really admire Alis’s personality and his sense of humour”, he must say this when he really means it and not just with a greed for more appreciations in return. Now you may ask how will anyone get to know whether we appreciated with right or wrong intentions? Haha, ain’t certain about others, but Alice will surely get it if you didn’t mean it and wasn’t honest with your appreciation, for he knows very well if he really has any apprehensible personality or a distinguishable sense of humour. Fake and dishonest appreciations would never come back to you. Be very honest and true while appreciating someone or someone’s work. Admire, admire more. Have an influence on others and be a Robert !
2. What makes you unique?
I remember me and my brother used to go to an English speaking coaching classes, and in the 2017 batch came one man named “Zack”. I do not remember who else used to learn with us from that whole batch, but I remember him. Why? Because he was different. He used to say a lot of “You know…” while speaking on any topic or between any conversation, he also had a melodious voice, he had a personality and one could know if he has entered the room. This is what we call a personality. In this trick, we simply need to dive into ourselves and analyse what is it which makes us unique? What difference does I make? Why and what am I known for? What is my signature style? Once we get to know this, we need to maintain it. What if Zack bhaiya would have changed his style and his “you know” because everyone pointed it out, he would not be able to stay in any of ours memory, because then he would have turned himself to ordinary. But he didn’t. How much we say “be yourself”, but do we really be ourselves? Or do we keep changing according to society and to meet other’s expectations. Modifying yourself and adjusting with others is very different from completely changing yourself for others.
Everyone is unique. Maybe some of us would be like “what use am I of?”. But that is just not true. What if it’s hidden, it does not mean it isn’t there. Search in yourself and you will definitely get your forte or something which differentiates you from others. Once you find it, never ever leave it. Always stick to your personality, because that is what you are known for.
Now how do we get to know what makes us unique? As I say- there are two ways, Self analysis and analysis with a partner. Unlike in the “new year resolutions” blog I said self analysis should be preferred, here there is no such preference. If self analysis helps you, go for it. I rather chose to do analysis with a partner, actually not one, but many. I would recommend you the same.
Now what we have gotta do is- choose people belonging to three buckets– 1.close people 2.not so close yet people and 3. Not at all close people. Now ask them all a simple question “what are the three qualities that you think makes me unique?” First of all let me tell you why I made those 3 buckets of people. That is because those belonging to “close people” can tell us about the most accurate uniqueness we possess and what a type of a person we actually are, not so close people can tell you on the basis of little knowledge they have about you and adding a few assumptions they have about you and finally not at all close people can tell you what they totally assume about you and what kind of idea you give them as a person.
Again, what sense does it make to make these 3 buckets? – This will help you to know what kind of personality your inner self has, what kind of personality your inner and outer self reveals and what kind of personality your outer self shows. For those who are really close to you, can tell you what actually you are unique for and you can use this knowledge to sustain these golden qualities in yourself. For those who are not so close to you can tell you what they think you are unique and good at and can help you find your potentials and because they aren’t too close or too distant from you, they give you the knowledge of the balance impression you give to others of your real self and outer self. On the very other hand, the people who are not at all close to you will give the answers by judging your outer self, by which I mean, your body language, gestures, way of talking, way of meeting/greeting, way of doing things. Basically, the answers they will give you would be all “assumptions” but rarely a reality, because they don’t know you well. But will give you the knowledge of how other people perceive you as a person by just looking at you and make assumptions about what you can be. Obviously, when you see a man driving BMW, you assume he must be the CEO of a big international going for some really important meeting, however he can also be a big doctor going in formal for a Christian ceremony. You never know! Not every time it is what it seems to be.
Okay Bloggy A! So we find our unique style, we make three buckets, choose appropriate people for these buckets, ask them the question, get answers, get the knowledge and information, now what do we do with this knowledge?
Here’s the answer- Now see what are the unique qualities that were common in all answers? Yes. Now those qualities which were the most common are the qualities which make YOU. This is what you really are. Also, if a unique quality is known by a close person and also perceived by a distant person, then no doubt your inner and outer self are the same. Wow that is a good point. It means what you really are is what you showcase, otherwise, some people do live dual personalities.
Now when you are done with figuring out what unique qualities of yours you found were common in all answers you asked from different people, make your mind up and do not let this person die. Because this is the person people know and admire, this is what you really are! Once you leave your individuality and uniqueness, you leave everything. Because uniqueness is the thing which makes you different, different from the crowd, and the one who is different from the crowd is the one whose presence is felt and has a major impact on others.
Just for extra reference:- I experimented on myself so as to know what are my unique qualities, if there were any. And I too asked three types of people in my life. I received overwhelming answers. And then I figured out what were the unique qualities that were constantly repeated in answers. Basically they were- “friendly, comforting, confident speaker, positive with optimistic vibes, influencing, jack of all trades”
**Thank you Adya, Adheesh, Kavya, Pavni, Jasmeen, Shruti, Palak Di, Riddhi, Charvi, Anupreksha, Tanisha (friend), Tanisha (sister), Shreshee, Brother- for coordinating and helping me, I thank you all from bottom of my heart**
So people! However there are 2 tricks more about which I’ll be talking in the next blog. I would have finished in this blog itself, but as they are lengthy and complicated points, I want to write on it without being bound to word limit to make myself very clear.
So that was it. Hope I was able to be of some help and hope you liked the content.
See you super soon on next Sunday. Till then, please remain tuned until I come up with “Part 2” the next weekend. Byeee.
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