Hey Dearies!! What’s up?
In the last blog (Part 1), this is what we learnt ⁃ So the next time, someone comes to share their personal feelings with you, make sure you’re not annoying them with your own bright stories. Listen to them and try to understand where they stand; remember when you too have been there earlier.
Let’s move ahead and see what our next tip has got.
The next thing we’re going to talk about today is how to pour all the attention in the conversation and what to do if you just can’t pour attention because you’re simply not interested.
Law 2: Pour your attention!
I ask you: how many times have you witnessed a situation in which you were saying something and the other person just takes out their cell phone and starts chatting with another person; or they stand there still with no expressions and make you feel that you are boring; or they start looking at their watches trying to convey “I don’t have the whole day for your nonsense” or they just start looking at their own hands and starts wondering “oh I need to wax!”- meanwhile you stand there feeling confused and disgusting.
Well let’s admit that this has happened with us some or the other time, that’s because we some time or the other have been in a conversation with a horrible listener. What impression do you carry of that person who made you feel that way? Do you think they are good listeners? No you don’t. Do you feel like talking to them again? No you don’t. At that moment, do you see children playing cricket and you just wish if a child could let you borrow his bat so that you could hit this disgusting ignorant person on the head? Yes, you certainly do.
Well, Exactly. This is what the other person feels like when you are ignorant! This is exactly what you do to them and what you do to whatever xyz relationship you share.
I don’t know how many of you are like that, if you are ignorant in conversations or not. Well I will leave that completely on your personal judgement of yourself (but be honest)
When the other person notices your disrespectful actions or I should say, signals that you give them to stop- like looking at your watches or wondering about a whole different thing in your mind, they start feeling as if they shouldn’t have said anything. They are like “why did I even thought this person would listen to me, so silly of me” And in no time, they start feeling this negative emotion about you and they decide to repel you no matter what.
***WHAT TO DO?***
It’s very simple.
Be present. Be attentive. Listen to understand, not to reply. Don’t just think what to say next, enjoy the talk and reply only when you have listened. Don’t show disrespect in any ways. People love it when you show respect when they are talking, and hate it 2 times more when you make them feel ignored. Make them feel as if their voice is the only sound you can hear right now (even though if you’re more interested in the squirrel’s fight sounds) You can’t afford to ignore a single person who matters. Well Anushka, who matters and who doesn’t? The people who mean something in your life, the close people, the colleagues or batchmates whom you gonna see everyday, even your mom’s friends and society. Basically every being who can affect your life directly or indirectly, are the people who matter and are the people who shouldn’t be ignored. You can certainly avoid and ignore people (and do it in the most savage way) who just don’t matter and whom you don’t give a damn about.
^Now let’s take the million dollar question!^
“What if we are genuinely not interested to listen to the other person and we can’t help being ignorant?”
-Well here’s a thing for you. Have you read my blog ‘Respond not React’? If you haven’t you should. Anyways, what you can do is- in a very subtle manner let them know that you are bored. Ok ok! Please don’t roll your eyes neither walk away. Subtle way, guys! Don’t break the eye contact completely, don’t stop nodding, but just stop being genuinely interested. And yes they will sense the lack of interest and shut up themselves or move on. This way you don’t make the ambiance negative by offending, but in a very polite way you ask the person to stop talking. What I am going to say next might make you think what is she even talking about! How can we just say it? Well, believe me you can. Many a times, honesty can actually help. When you honestly but gently and politely tell the other people “can we please change the topic” or “well I know I don’t really keep myself updated with world’s chaos, I don’t really like politics”, you kill two birds with one stone. (No animal was hurt while writing this idiom) *Hehehe*
Ofcourse firstly, they change the topic and secondly, you impress them and bury them with honesty. While suggesting this way, I must also say that this way of complete honesty is excelled and mastered by few. It’s an art how beautifully you can be honest without sounding mean and ill-mannered.
So this was today’s blog. Please let me know in the comments box below what you think about it.
So in a nutshell,
The next time someone is talking to you, be attentive and be present with all of your senses. The worst thing you can do in a conversation is being ignorant. If you always disrespect people, then they build up a natural feeling of resistance for you. Don’t let them do it. You can surely avoid and ignore shitty people, you don’t have to pay attention and waste time thinking about people who don’t matter. Just never let your important group of people be disappointed by your silly ignorance and arrogance. If you are genuinely not interested to listen, chose the two subtle ways I suggested to get out of the situation without offending them.
Hint for 3rd law- The Responses!
So that was it. Hope I was able to be of some help and hope you liked the content.
Take care everyone.
Catch you soon.
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