How to become a good listener? (Part-1-Bright stories)

 Hey People! What’s up?

I really hope that all of you and your dear ones are super healthy and that that you all are taking care of yourself.

Probably if you have decided to read this blog, you are an enthusiastic person who possess the keenness to develop or improve the skill of listening. I really appreciate that zeal and interest you have showed in this blog.

*SOMETHING IMPORTANT~~~ This blog topic will be uploaded in 4 parts- every Sunday for 4 weeks, and each part will have one new law for becoming a better listener.

Mark the dates–Law 1~ 13 June, 2021

Please!  Law 2~ 20 June, 2021

Law 3~ 27 June, 2021

Law 4~ 4 July, 2021

With this hope that you get something useful by the end of the blog, let’s start.

Read this Please! 

⁃ This is the picture of a great message that I came across the internet a long time ago. (It’s a little blur, but please put up with it) The reason why I attached this image, is that I want you all to understand the importance of being a good listener, maybe we can discuss about that at length some other day. We all know how important it has become to listen attentively to people, and when I say this, I mean- “listen genuinely”. As I always say, people are not dumb! They know when you mean something and they know when you don’t. If you want to be a good listener, the first step is to mean what you are doing. I don’t really say that you cannot use this technique of listening for personal benefits, you certainly can. But remember that there shall not be a vicious intention behind it. So if anyone is here, to FAKE the art of listening- I am sorry but you can leave. We are here to learn how we can actually turn more attentive to people and their words, at the same time not get lost in them.

^^I must also mention, that whatever I write here are just my tools that I use in everyday life and some of the personal observations I have made in people till now. So you are free to adapt any other personal trick of yours, and we would actually be delighted to know if there is any other complementary tip you want to share with us. Feel free to write in the comments box below! ^^

(P.S.- I will be using the word “laws” for more sophisticated writing, but don’t misinterpret them as solid universal laws or something!)

So how to become a good listener?

Law 1: Say no to your bright stories.

⁃ Now this is an interesting thing I noticed in many people! Let’s assume a person comes to you and says- “I feel horrible! I am so demotivated and I feel like I don’t have a purpose in life!”

What you reply? Would you say- “Oh well! I am so sorry for that, but my life is cracking, I am so happy and my days are vibrant. My life is full of purpose and I know where I am going.” The next thing you’ll see that other person doing is- Running away from you as fast as they can. You were a horrible listener. Being a good listener ain’t only about being attentive or understanding, it’s more. Without even noticing, we all do this some or the other time. Isn’t it? But let’s stop doing this. When you do this to a person who came to you to seek help, all of theirs trust and comfort gets lost. They regret for having shared those things with you. What is the use of making a person who feels low, feel more low and insecure. Somewhere, we humans do this with someone, because we get pleasure out of it, we feel good about ourselves. But this is a smaller pleasure. Try feeling the pleasure you get after listening to someone whole heartedly and getting this in the last:- “ThankYou so much for listening to me. I am so glad I have someone to confide in. You are a very good listener.” And then you see their happy and more relaxed faces. That’s the real pleasure. On the contrary, don’t fake the understanding also. Yes! dare not speak a lie. If you say “Oh same is the case with me”, when in reality your days are blissful, it’s clear lying. You can take an easier, completely honest and a more effective way here. Tell them that you totally understand because you too have been there once. See? You were completely honest and genuine yet didn’t upset them with a shiny story of yours, which actually gives rise to jealousy and insecurity.

⁃ So the next time, someone comes to share their personal feelings with you, make sure you’re not annoying them with your own bright stories. Listen to them and try to understand where they stand; remember when you too have been there earlier.

So that was the first law for becoming a good listener. I really hope you enjoyed it.

Hint for the 2nd law- Pour your attention! And what to do if you can’t!

So that was it. Hope I was able to be of some help and hope you liked the content.

Bye bye.

See you next sunny Sunday.