HELLO my dear readers! Wishing you all a bright Sunday.
Well, I remember a small incident from the summer of last year. I was as usual attending my zoom classes in the evening on how to speak fluent english, be confident and develop a personality. We were in a conversation with our teacher and batchmates. I don’t remember exactly what did I say, but roughly, I said to my teacher- “Sorry sir,but I have a different take on this.” And then I said what I wanted to and ended it with this line “sorry sir I hope you don’t mind it”. ( I said this because I had different opinions than his). He being a sophisticated English teacher, always polite but straight forward man said- “You see my dear child, I don’t make my opinions or views about things that firm and rigid that if one day they are opposed by others, they hold the power to hurt me.”
Wow! I was moved, awestruck and amazed by what this wise man in his 60s said. I have always been. This maybe was the wisest lesson my teacher taught me; although there are a lot many more. Only few of a times did he intentionally give personal lessons like this, but unknowingly and unintentionally he always inspired his students. Yes he is my favourite teacher.
(Note– If anyone is interested in joining such a class which teaches English in a different and more efficient way and provides better insights to the students, you are most welcome. People of various age groups come here, from teen to elderly. Believe me, you will count this as one of the best decisions of your life. Message me for details and information)
Well, coming to today’s topic.
My motive of telling this story to all of you was, to share how I came across this concept through my teacher. And then apparently I started observing how accurate and true it was. I find this concept very useful in everyday life too.
So today we shall discuss what happens when we are super rigid in our believes, thoughts, opinions, choices, actions, etc.
Q. What does it mean to be rigid?
⁃ Being a rigid person means believing that your believes and thoughts are superior and righter than others. One who is inflexible. Not being able to look at things from perspectives of other people. Basically, it’s a limitation.
Q. How does rigidity holds power to hurt?
⁃ We all get hurt on daily basis because of our firm beliefs on something, but remember rigidity can also hold power to hurt you in the most deadliest manner. Often, when one believes in something or someone so firmly that they stop seeing beyond, they can easily get hurt. More you grow fond of something, more it holds the power to hurt you. (Here something can be anything- from a belief to a person, anything) It’s simple to understand how! When someone disagrees with what you agree with so much, it hurts you. When someone opposes your beliefs, you get hurt. When someone calls your “rights”- “wrongs”, you get hurt. It’s impossible to skip the hurting part but it’s very much possible to control it, as my teacher did. Always try to give nothing so much of power or importance or attention, that when they are opposed or disagreed with, they hurt you. I mean come on! We have much more to deal with in our lives. How much energy and time will we keep on squandering around on bullshit matters. Make no belief so firm. Use both of your gifted ears. Listen and take the bullshit out without even wasting a second. Everyone happy!
Q. Do you want us to not have or speak up our opinions?
⁃ Oh no. That’s just not what I mean. Have opinions and individual beliefs, believe in them, respect them and adore them as much as you can. But when will we have a world where nothing has to be proven to anyone? Why do we want everyone to agree with us all the time? Why to prove your beliefs to others? Why do we want approval of everyone all the time? So what I say is, have opinions but share them only with worthy listeners. And also, just remember that your everyday simple beliefs don’t turn themselves into the reason for your living. Once they turn into the reason for your living, you’ll give them the power they don’t deserve. You’ll give them the power to hurt you.
Now let’s quickly see what rigidity brings with itself –
1. No tendency to adjust or modify ourselves.
2. Always in the disgusting disbelief that I am always right.
3. People won’t see a genuine friend in you. Because you’ll always be busy bringing someone or the other down.
4. You’ll always be ignored or avoided by crowds, because people don’t like listening to other’s rigid views, however the irony is, they are always ready to share theirs.
5. Lastly, but uhh the most important, you’ll have no space for improvement. No improvement, no life.
I would also like to mention some very common ways in which we, the common crowd practices rigidity:
• The most common way in which we all practice rigidity is by having favourites. Favourite celebrity, favourite politician, favourite cricketer, favourite YouTuber, etc. If you want, get inspired by these people but don’t get influenced by them. Well let’s leave this inspire and not influence thing for some other day. Your favourites have their own life, you enjoy your own. Having ideals is a very good thing, but if you let them have the power to have such a great and destructive impact on your lives, you are doing something disastrous to yourself. Don’t waste time on being the voice for defending your ideals, let people say or do whatever they want to. You respect them, love them and adore them. Isn’t this enough?
• The next thing we usually become rigid for, are our beliefs. We all need to understand that every single person have had their own experiences, moments, stories, incidents, accidents, thinking and struggles and because of all these and other factors too, all of us have different takes on things. We literally need not waste time on proving our beliefs right and other’s wrong, focus on yourself. Stop starving for people to agree with you; one or two will always have different opinions. And believe me, that’s okay.
So remember! The next time someone says something or does something opposite to you or your beliefs, smile and move on!
So that was it. Hope I was able to be of some help and hope you liked the content.
See you super soon.
Stay tuned.
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